Thanks, Tiger.  Thanks for teaching everyone how NOT to conduct a press conference.

It was painful.  It was humorous.  It was boring.  It was predictable.

It very well could have been, but Tiger's apology didn't come off as honest.  And that's just sad.  Tiger had the world watching, and instead of coming off as someone asking for forgiveness, came off as 5th grader reading a report in front of his class.  Do you think he practiced in front of his mom last night?  Where was the smooth talking Tiger we're used to?

And for that (awkward pause) I am not (awkward pause) buying (awkward pause) it.

It looked like he had about four pages on the podium, and presumably written before the words "I am sorry" were the words (look into camera).  Tiger determined who was allowed at his press conference, but failed to double check their equipment.  Nothing says professional like a camera cutting to black in the middle of his statement.  This might be a stretch, but it looked as if Tiger's staff made him sniff an onion right before he walked out to the podium.  How else would he get that look of disgust on his face?  I couldn't make that face if I saw a dog get hit by a car.

There was one thing I did agree with.  Stay away from his family.  As a matter of fact, that's the only thing I'd be concerned about.  The Woods' didn't ask for this.  Only Tiger did.

Woods says he's headed back to rehab.  I think the only rehabilitation will come when he gets back on the course.  Sure the questions will follow him around for a long time, but when he's on the 18th green at Augusta and sinks the winning putt, if even for only a day, the focus will be about the thing he's the most honest about.  Golf.  And he should embrace every moment he isn't bothered by his past because there won't be many times.  At least not for a while.

Tiger says he felt "entitlement" to all of the "temptations," and now he is deeply (look at camera) sorry.  But is he only (look at camera) sorry because he got (awkward pause) caught?

(Oh, hug your mom)